Head's Blog | Tradition | Embley School, a private school in Hampshire

It has been a week of very interesting conversations. One such was a conversation I had with a young couple who have one child and one on the way. We talked about their aspirations for their children and, in particular, what makes a good school. They, as with all families, are faced with the task of choosing a school from a plethora. How do you make the right choice? They were acutely conscious that the only frame of reference they had was their own experience. How might this shape criteria for a ‘good’ school? If your experience was great and you loved school, do you choose the same kind of school for your child? What made it great? Will it work for your child? But remember, they are not you. How does a thirty-something look back on their experience and evaluate the qualities of their school? At 12 or 13 were we conscious of what the schools’ objectives were or what the vision of the Head was? It is likely we came to conclusions about our school from the experience we had and of the relationships within the community. 
 
This is a pretty regular conversation for me with parents who either want to replicate their experience at school or run a mile from it. Either way, their focus is on their child being happy and successful, usually in that order! I have often commented that all happy children are successful whereas not all successful children are happy, twas ever thus and remains into adult life… think on reader. 
 
I have often commented in this space that the happiness we speak of is very far from a navel gazing absorption with idiosyncratic self-indulgence. To be fair, I think it is the very opposite of that. It is also important that the ‘fit’, is correct. This is a subtle discernment of the qualities of your child and how the school orients itself. Is the individual more or less important than the institution? I know I am asking a lot of questions, but it is also worth pondering and really thinking about how we choose. 
 
What is seductive to the point of being invisible is the pull of the crowd, the routine, what Orwell might have called ‘groupthink’. In making a choice which runs against the so called ‘norm’, you have to be a brave parent with a strong focus on your child at the expense of the prevailing zeitgeist. But come on folks, isn’t that what the heart of parenting is? Routine, mundane and relentless, choosing the right thing for your child regardless of the pressures to conform or follow the crowd? 
 
Have schools changed since you were in Year 7? Yes and no. Embley has certainly changed, absolutely no question about that. Our teachers are working with evidenced based innovation and partnering with appropriate technology to build understanding, critical awareness and the capacity to apply knowledge to solve problems. This is a dynamic relationship that is constantly evolving. But we are also doing things that are very traditional. We make no apology for this. Tradition is how we hand on values and attitudes to future generations that are core to our communities; to our identity. Tradition is not pickled in aspic; the fossilisation of attitudes is not the tradition I speak of. The understanding of tradition as that which seeks to preserve modes of behaviour, that restrict or refuse to innovate and develop, is very different from the values based tradition that promotes human flourishing.
 
This latter tradition is the one we experience at Embley. We value punctuality, it does matter that you are on time because we do not presume of the time of others. Holding ourselves to account and presenting ourselves appropriately means we focus on being the best version of ourselves and respect the value of the work in hand. So appropriate uniform, attention to deadlines, completing work, being thorough, speaking in a register that promotes the wellbeing of others, and being mindful of how our comments affect them. Holding such qualities to the fore and building a community based on the humility of its members are traditional and eternal, why? Just look around you. The absence of traditional values of courtesy, respect, practical kindness and truth telling in what Ghandi called ‘satyagraha’ has led to division, conflict and the promotion of self-interest.  
 
A dedication to responsible innovation, fidelity to values that are lasting and form children who, as Renaissance individuals, will go on to make the world a better place seems to me to be useful criteria in choosing schools and represents the very best of tradition.