Head's Blog | Augustine not me | Embley School, a private school in Hampshire

Well, the deep haze of summer heat and excess has long since receded and we are well into the new term as I put pen to paper. The new school year is akin to the new calendar year; so many children starting with us for the first time; so many returnees who return to the palimpsest they left a couple of months ago. The enthusiasm of seeing friends, the nervy expectation of novelty worn quickly and shaped by new friendships and new beginnings. The place is too quiet without them and several hundred children hoving into view has startled the estate’s herd of deer somewhat, but they had it good for long enough.The first assembly began with a welcome of course but also a question. I am fond of asking the children what they want - from the year, the school and for themselves? It is not a purely rhetorical question, it is a profound one. I enjoy the challenge of the questions and the repossess that follow where I am met with answers and further questions that go on to develop my own thinking. I relayed the story of Sisyphus. (You know by now reader the certainty that all my stories are true – it’s just that not all of them have happened. Good luck getting your head around that, meanwhile I will press on.)
 
Having pushed his boulder to the top of the hill and seeing it roll back down only to return from whence he came and begin the ascent again ad infinitum, I asked the children if they thought Sisyphus was happy? By and large they all agreed that he was very unhappy. How could you find happiness in the rolling of a boulder routinely up a hill only to see the work you gave your hands to falter and return to repeat the exercise knowing it will never end. Fair point, the endlessness of routine, the apparent futility of a task that doesn’t end might well give pause for thought. But I tabled the routine of daily living, of getting up, sorting clothes, cutting grass and all the tasks we do routinely and repeatedly without end. 
 
Reader, consider the responsibility of parenthood, does that end? Is there a cut off? I suppose we might agree that it would be nice if, financially there was a line in the sand and independence kicked in. From my own experience that line is more a series of dots. But being a parent is never ‘done’. What about the audience in front of me in the assembly? 
 
The happiness we seek is elusive, as elusive as the friend we seek in the playground or wherever. The more we look for it, the more remote it becomes. What are we to do? How should we see happiness or indeed friendship? My suggestion to the children was that happiness is not an end in itself but a product of an end. It is a consequence of fulfilment where fulfilment is in realising the best version of ourselves, usually by avoiding navel gazing and focus on what we should do to be happy and getting stuck into a purpose, making a contribution. 
 
In considering how we do this, I suggested we begin by being humble and therefore open to opportunity and change; being responsible and owning, with honesty, our own purpose and direction and taking the risk to realise choices that our openness offers and our responsibility to ourselves demands. Pretty meaty stuff when you think about it. It means not following the crowd but looking at our gifts and celebrating them by extending them. It means recognising when taking the easy path may be the short cut to nowhere, that there is little point in climbing the ladder to find it resting against the wrong wall. Owning our agency in making those choices liberates us. Yes reader, I did write that; it is discipline and responsibility that liberates not restricts. So, what will the year bring? Who knows. Experience has taught me that tomorrow and next week will bring their own share of the unexpected, never mind thinking about a year ahead. That said, we can be sure that our openness to grow; our acceptance of our responsibility to heed the call of opportunity and our willingness to take the step will undoubtedly bring us happiness because we are forming ourselves and each other into our best selves. ‘You are what you can become, now, become what you are.’ Augustine, not me.