The recent documentary Once Upon a Time in Northern Ireland shares a title and some of the themes. Charting the Troubles through the lives of those who lived it, it is a timely reflection on an era that seems so immediate and yet so distant. The profundity of people’s experiences escapes words, it certainly escapes mine.
I recall much of the History I was taught growing up in Ireland. We observed different ideologies, perspectives on what constitutes a good life, political loyalties and allegiances. The experiences of those of my vintage will remember the evening news brought only grief. Talks seemed to break down more often than they worked, ceasefires didn’t hold and it seemed no one was safe. There was a real sense that the difficulties were intractable. A Gordian Knot that would never be loosed.
I could go on here about how very difficult things were – the economic downturn, three-day weeks, mass unemployment and emigration, lights going out and so on – but that as ever is only one side of the story. The other much brighter and purposeful.
One thing I took from the negotiations that brought the Northern Ireland Treaty was that talking through problems does bring solutions. It may not bring perfection but, as human beings, perfection is a tantalising target impossibly out of reach. Better to consider progress. Looking back over 25 peaceful years, it is not Nirvana. Tensions continue. Disagreeing is intrinsic to our nature but so too is dialogue and discussion. We are a social entity; we naturally seek solace in community but the instinct to gather may be inverted to become exclusive, to become a clique, closed through whatever perceived fear or concerns for loss that make us pull up the drawbridge of experience and hunker down.
It is a curious notion of security; this supposed solace of self-imposed isolation or segregation and seems to me to be an unhealthy one. There are disagreements at Embley. In a community such as ours and in any community, there will be differences. The extent, depth and reach of difference and diversity is bewildering and breathtakingly wonderful. Last Tuesday morning at our Open Morning, I was tackling the question of what kind of child comes to Embley. I asked what sort of child comes home to your house, and what sort of friends follow through the door? Far from homogenous ‘yes’ people, they are all different, blessed and unique. We engage children in sharing concerns; but also, in owning up, being honest and taking responsibility.